Transgender Man Speaks Out About Being Misgendered During Childbirth
Using someone’s chosen name and pronouns is widely recognized today as a fundamental way to show respect for their identity — whether they are cisgender, transgender, or non-binary. Yet, not everyone follows this practice, and many still fall back on outdated norms, especially in institutional settings like healthcare.
Bennett Kaspar-Williams, 37, from Los Angeles, gave birth to his son Hudson via cesarean section in October 2020, supported by his husband Malik. At the time, Kaspar-Williams identified as male and used he/him/his pronouns, though he now identifies as non-binary and uses both he/him and they/them pronouns.
Despite clearly communicating his gender identity, Kaspar-Williams experienced repeated instances of misgendering by hospital staff, who referred to him as “mom” rather than “dad,” according to The Daily Mail.
Kaspar-Williams began his gender transition in 2014 after realizing he was transgender in 2011. When he and Malik decided to start a family, he paused testosterone therapy — a necessary step to allow his reproductive system to resume functioning. Though he had undergone top surgery, he had not pursued bottom surgery, and after thoughtful reflection, felt comfortable with the idea of carrying a child himself.
He conceived naturally not long after the couple began trying.
“We had only been trying a short while, so we expected the process to take longer than it did,” he shared.
A Joyful Yet Challenging Journey
Kaspar-Williams described his pregnancy experience as both meaningful and emotionally complex, particularly due to repeated misgendering by healthcare professionals.
“The only thing that made me dysphoric about my pregnancy was the misgendering that happened to me when I was getting medical care,” he said.
Although he had indicated his gender on medical forms, the misgendering persisted throughout his hospital stay. Since giving birth, he has become an advocate for inclusive language in healthcare and for recognizing that childbirth is not exclusively linked to womanhood.
In a conversation with the New York Post, Kaspar-Williams addressed the frustration of being continually called “mom” despite being male:
“The business of pregnancy — and yes, I say business, because the entire institution of pregnancy care in America is centered around selling this concept of ‘motherhood’ — is so intertwined with gender that it was hard to escape being misgendered,” he said.
He also emphasized the need to challenge assumptions about gender and parenting:
“No one can ever really know whether having children is possible until you try. Being born with a uterus doesn’t make conceiving or carrying a certainty,” he added.
“That’s why it’s so important that we stop defining ‘womanhood’ in terms of ‘motherhood,’ because it’s a false equivalency — not all women become mothers, not all mothers carry children, and not all people who carry children are mothers.”
Kaspar-Williams’ story highlights the complexities of gender identity, reproductive health, and the importance of affirming individuals’ identities throughout their medical experiences.
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